Susan’s Blog: She says goodbye to her big fat ***. Down 70lbs!

Susan derose - June

This blog speaks for itself. I have one thing to say, Susan is smart, she get’s it.  It might take her a moment or a couple of days, but she ultimately makes powerful connections and is open to learning. That is the secret to success. She lost 5 lbs this week.


Ok, I am embarrassed. Evidently, I have been caught doing the “Hokey Pokey.” You know that silly dance beloved by toddlers and tacky wedding DJ’s everywhere? That’s the one. Personally, I loathe it, so it’s ironic that I have been putting my “left one in” and taking “my right one out” for years without ever realizing it. Except in this case, I am talking about my brain here, not my feet. By now I am sure you are scratching your heads wondering what the hell I am babbling on about. No, I haven’t lost it; I am just getting ahead of myself. Humor me for a moment while I attempt to share an “Ah-Ha!” moment with you.

Remember a few blogs back when I talked about how when the universe is trying to tell you something, it manages to somehow make its point? Well it happened again. I have continued to have a hectic, what feels like not a moment to myself, schedule these days. I have watched literally no TV for over a month- haven’t had a moment to sit and veg out, or if I have, have been so tired from being constantly on the move that I have chosen to catch some extra Z’s instead. Last weekend I was chopping a ton of veggies that I had bought when I went grocery shopping. I had turned the TV on while doing it, but wasn’t paying much attention- it was background noise more than anything else. I only heard a phrase here and there, until a particular interview caught my attention. Oprah was interviewing Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor (a Neuro-Anatomist) about a book she had written called “My Stroke of Insight” in which she describes her own experiences regarding having had a massive cerebral hemorrhage, or “stroke.” Having been a Psychology major in a former life, the brain has always fascinated me; it makes us who we are. If you are unlucky enough to be cornered by me when I am in my “analyze” mood, watch out! I have been known to utter phrases like, “So, tell me about your mother…” and “Come sit on my couch…” LOL As usual, I digress.

Another thing going on this week has been my quest to find time to get to the gym. After work just doesn’t cut it for me- my days are too long and I am too tired despite the best of intentions to ever make it there in the evening. This week I made a point of trying to haul my carcass up at 5 AM every day to squeeze in a morning workout. I made it 3 out of 4 days, so I am fairly proud of myself. Peter’s 5 K is this Sunday in Central Park (more about this topic next week) and I have been in touch with both he and fellow blogger Alison via e-mail because of it. I made the mistake of using the phrase “my fat ass” in separate e-mails to both of them in regard to my training. Great minds think alike, or Peter has brainwashed Alison- take your pick. Both of them fired back similar responses to me, unaware of the other’s response. Peter said, “Instead of “fat ass”, say ” soon to be tighter ass” :-) . Words are everything. Love your ass and yourself.” Ok, I will admit, I am a bit jaded and quite the smart ass- no pun intended. My first thought was to make a politically incorrect dirty joke about his Greek heritage here (He has my permission to hit me at our next session) LOL. I failed to see the importance of his message lost in my own snarky laughter. Alison’s comment to me was similar, “OK, that’s it. No more calling yourself fat or any of your body parts (even your fat. Maybe call it “muscle in progress…”).” What is wrong with these two? My ass is huge! Granted, it’s half the size it was last year, but it is still big by anyone’s standard of measure. Why can’t I call my own ass fat??!

Why not indeed. Here’s where the universe comes in. It took Dr. Taylor’s book, and both Peter and Alison’s e-mails to make the message finally click. The words we choose are everything, and they are truly powerful. Dr. Taylor’s story is unique and amazing. She is a brain scientist, and her AVM (stroke) severely damaged the left hemisphere of her brain.   She has CHOSEN not to re-learn some of her left brain negative thinking, and to strengthen some of her right brain positive attributes and attitudes. I can’t do this book justice in a short blog. The bottom line is Peter is correct- the words we choose are everything- this book outlines the anatomy and physiology of why, and this woman is the perfect person to explain it to us all. As for my “Hokey Pokey” routine- I need to remember to have my “right” hemisphere spend more time “in” than “out”, and restrain my “left” brain from “shaking things about” with all it’s critical judgments.

I have always had a self-deprecating sense of humor. I never analyzed why that is, I just figured it is part of what makes me who I am. When you think about it- making fun of yourself is really a protective measure. When you make fun of yourself, you avoid offending others. You seem non-threatening and more approachable. It can be a good thing not to have an overblown ego and have the ability to laugh at yourself. When done to excess however, or chronically- it can be seriously harmful. A narcissistic personality may over-use self-deprecating humor to get others to contradict their negative comments and stroke their ego, or to get people to admire them for the courage and wit it takes to laugh at themselves. Also, if done with great frequency, self-esteem comes into question and can create an endless loop of negativity. For example- you do something dumb and mindlessly call yourself an idiot. If you use this phrase in reference to yourself repeatedly, people around you will start to agree with you. After a while, people may start treating you as if you really are a moron, which then in turn makes you literally start to feel like one. It’s a vicious cycle to be sure; choose your words with care.

So… my “fat ass” is now my “very large muscle” that I sit on. It will “soon be tighter” because it has been cut off from its steady stream of high calorie crap and because it hits the gym several times a week. That lingo is going to take some getting used to, but I do understand their point. I have another big week ahead; a coaching session with Peter on Saturday, and the 5 K on Sunday. As for my totals this week, I am elated. I weighed in today at 261 even- down another 5 pounds this week bringing my total weight loss to 70 lbs. I am so much healthier and happier than I was last Thanksgiving; I have a lot to be thankful for this year.

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