When I got the email from Susan telling me why she wasn’t ready to do the 5K I was concerned. Alison and I fired off replies immediately about why she was mistaken. In the end Susan did what I knew she would do, she did the 5K and overcame her fear. She was down right courageous and we are so proud and impressed by her!
Read about Susan’s first 5K experience and a winter coat that doesn’t fit anymore. I seldom tell clients, “I told you so”, but mmmm, Susan, “I told you …” That’s the power of accountability.
“I did it. The whole f’ing thing.” For those of you not subjected to my Facebook boasting, this was my status message last Sunday after completing Peter’s recent 5 K in Central Park. I am still surprised when I read that line, because I have trouble fathoming that I actually did this. If you will recall several weeks back, I signed up for this 5 K with a grim sense of determination. I was struggling with my weight loss and hoped that by setting this goal for myself, I would find my elusive “zone” again. My little trick didn’t work, but my coaching sessions with Peter eventually did, and I have my food stuff under control again. Very recently, I started actually making it to the gym in the mornings, but my training schedule for the 5 K was “a day late and a dollar short” or so to speak. Sometimes what we DON’T say is as just as important as what we do. Other than stating that I had signed up for the event that first week and mentioning last week that I was going to be there, I didn’t say much. In fact, I didn’t say ANYTHING, and there was a reason. I was FREAKING OUT. It had seemed like I had plenty of time to prepare for my first 5 K, and then suddenly, there wasn’t.
A week before the 5 K, I basically had a meltdown. I felt that I wasn’t physically ready to do this and that I was about to let myself and a whole lot of other people down. I bit the bullet and fired off an e-mail to Alison and Peter telling them that I would still be coming to Central Park to cheer everyone on, but that I would not be participating in the actual 5 K itself. I then had to turn around and tell the man in my life (who had just completed his first 26 mile MARATHON and does 5K’s for fun in his sleep) that I had bailed. To say that I felt like a total assh*le is a complete understatement, but enduring that feeling was much more preferable than imagining having to attempt the 5 K and publically humiliating myself in the process.
Craig’s response was similar to the pep talk that I had tried to give him when he had his own pre-marathon jitter’s, and I was equally as unreceptive to his optimism as he had been to mine. I’ll spare you my obscenity laden response, followed by my indignant shriek of “I AM NOT DOING IT. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!” Peter handled me with kid gloves, in his usual gentle, yet persuasive manner. He suggested that I come to the 5K anyway and walk the path just once (1.5 miles), and reminded me that “successful people set difficult goals and then modify them when they have to.” Alison… Oh Alison. Let’s just say she has my number. With the efficiency, precision and brutality of a surgeon, her reply was something along the lines of, “Oh yes you are, and here’s why…” She proceeded to accurately list for me all the psychological sabotage I was hurling in my own path, then reminded me why I can’t do this to myself anymore. She softened her “blows” with promises of coming back to find me on the path after she ran her 5K, and finishing it together. When all was said and done, I finally relented and agreed to participate. I wasn’t at all confident that I would complete the 5 K, but I decided to show up and at least try.
The weather on the morning of the 5K was spectacular, and it was difficult to maintain my glum and dismal outlook while soaking up the beauty of Central Park in the autumn, and in the company of all the great 5 Minutes to Fitness club members that I met that day. I started my walk (running is not an option yet) with Peter and fellow club member Russell. Their conversation and camaraderie helped distract me from the negative thoughts I had running through my head, and before I knew it, there was Alison and then Craig, just as they had promised. The first trip around the reservoir had been easy enough, but I was uncertain about doing it a second time. Hah! Imagine telling two successful marathon runners you can’t do another lap- it’s impossible; I didn’t even try. I said nothing, and stifled my maniacal laughter as I imagined how purple with exertion they would each turn, if and when I did keel over- forcing them to carry my fa… um “large muscle in training” ass back to the starting point. Off we went again. Lap 2 was spent chatting and joking, as well as discussing Thanksgiving Day dining strategies. We stopped a few times for a minute or two here or there, but nothing as bad as I had imagined. Before I knew it, we were done. Huh? Holy Crap! We finished! I finished!! OMG! LOL
I completed my first 5 K by merely walking, and it took me 1:20. I certainly didn’t set any world speed record here, but what an awesome place to spring from. I know that my speed and endurance will continue to improve as I become more physically fit. Someday I will be running 5 K’s, not walking them and it will be nice to look back and see how far I have come; to be able to watch my time improve dramatically as I progress. But I am getting ahead of myself here. I need to remember to stop and savor THIS moment. Forget last year, LAST WEEK this goal was unreachable to me. It’s time to stop doubting myself, and start shredding my comfort zone to pieces.
This was an awesome week. I have been yanking my pants up for the last couple of weeks or so, I have come to the realization that it’s time for new, smaller jeans again. I also tried on my winter wool coat from last year- I thought it might need to be taken in a bit. Umm no. The coat is so big on me, it’s beyond redemption, and it left me goggle eyed in amazement. This is the 1st article of clothing that I have put on that shows me how much weight I have truly lost- I am keeping it for posterity. I weighed in at 259 lbs. this morning- down 2 pounds this week, bringing my total weight loss to 72 pounds. It’s funny, the first time I ever saw a 250ish number on a scale, I remember being horrified I had gotten so heavy. Little did I know back then where I was headed and just how much higher my weight would eventually soar. When I saw that 250ish number again today, I was thrilled to welcome it back like an old friend I never thought I would see again. Though I have to say- I was a bit rude and reminded it that while I was glad to have it visit, it wasn’t welcome to stay all that long… ☺