Although Susan did it, her 2nd 5K, she’s not thrilled. However, she was thrilled to meet Elizabeth, Elana, Lori and the others. I created this club to help connect people who want to change their lives through health. Club members, thank you for making that vision come true.
Below you’ll read about her cousin Sam who shaved her head for St. Baldricks Children’s charity. I’m proud to say Peter K Fitness has made a donation to Sam’s charity on behalf of everyone who showed up to our 5K. Thank you! You can see Sam’s picture below. You can still donate here > http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/521351/2012
Susan, though you’ve had a couple of challenging weeks, you have brought many people together by sharing your story in this weekly blog. Karma will repay you with the focus and success you crave.
And now, Susan:
I have been on vacation this week- I have had the luxury of having my time all to myself for the last 6 days. Ironically though, it’s 4 AM and this blog needs to be delivered to Peter’s in box in about an hour and a half. So, why am I pulling the 11th hour crunch and starting this blog now like an errant college student frantically slamming together a term paper at the very last possible moment? While it’s true that sometimes the pressure of a deadline gets my ass in gear and makes the words just magically flow- that’s not the case here. I have been struggling this week; I have been at war with myself in a way, and though I tried to sit down at least 10 times over the course of the last week in an attempt to write the blog, the ideas and words would not come. So, it’s 4 AM, and I am still not sure what’s going to come out- but I made a commitment to myself to write this blog every week, and I am morally obligated to keep that promise. So here we go.
I have taken enough Psychology classes in my day to be able to clearly state that I do not have a split personality disorder, however, my behavior this week might lead some casual observers to think it might be a distinct possibility. To steal some lingo coined by our beloved Alison, my own” Fit Girl” and “Fat Girl” have been having a knock-down, drag out “cat fight” with each other for control of my brain. When my world is in order, and “All’s Quiet on the Western Front,” it’s relatively easy to make my health and fitness goals a top priority. It’s during these periods, when I make the most progress, feel the most motivated, am the most optimistic and inspired about my journey. When my stress level increases and I start paying more attention to outside forces and the noise and interference that it brings, my motivation and focus head for the hills, and negativity and bad habits rein supreme. These fluctuating states used to run seamlessly on auto pilot, each popping in and controlling my behavior depending on circumstance. Peter, however, has messed me up in a major way. I have read enough of his posts, had enough of his coaching sessions, and heard enough of his strategies for success, that I have learned quite a few things over the last year. So, when bad stuff happens and my focus goes out the window, “Fat Girl” waltzes in, fully expecting to have her way, and isn’t too happy lately. Why? It seems that “Fit Girl” is a nagging b*tch who won’t shut up and leave the “Fat Girl” alone to eat her junk food in peace. There was a time when I could stress eat for comfort’s sake, and actually enjoy what I was consuming. Now I find, that when I do succumb to poor eating, bad habit’s etc… I have “Fit Girl” lecturing me and ruining all my fun. So both my alter ego’s are currently pissed, and beating the crap out of each other trying to gain control.
When Peter asks me a question, and my response is, “I don’t know…” He has occasionally flipped the question back to me by saying, “Well, if you DID know, then what would you do?” I have been in a pretty negative state for the last few weeks. I was not jazzed about doing our 5K on May 6th. To be frank, I didn’t want to do it. “Fat Girl” was all for bailing and was making some pretty convincing arguments to put a stop to the whole thing. “Fit Girl” put her two cents in, and convinced me that even if everything “Fat Girl” was saying were true, I still need to “act as if…” I was in a good place. So I did make it to the 5 K, and to be honest, my performance wasn’t stellar, I finished dead last, and I didn’t feel the same euphoria I did when I did my first 5 K. So, was the day a negative experience, a complete wash out? Surprisingly not. Why? Because, when you look hard enough, you can find something positive in any experience. I had a great conversation with Elizabeth before we started the 5 K. She said some really kind things about my writing and blog that put a smile on my face, and her warmth and sincerity touched me. Talking to her was a bright spot in a difficult week, she had no idea how much that conversation meant to me at that moment. Elana- what can I say. Without her by my side, I probably would have quit after one lap around the lake. She is one tough cookie and a great coach. I have been hearing about her forever, it was so nice to finally meet her in person. Another highlight was Lori. I had heard she was leery about undertaking her first 5 K, and that Peter had used me in part as an example to persuade her to participate. Let me tell you, I am so proud of her! Not only did she have the courage to show up, she kicked major butt! She completed the entire 5 K, and pushed her mom’s wheelchair for the whole 3 miles to boot- and she outpaced ME! In fact, at one point, I was cursing her under my breath, because she was too far ahead for me to catch up, knock her poor old mom out of that wheel chair, enabling me to “ride out” the rest of the 5 K. Way to go Lori! It’s nice to know that I was part of the reason you joined us that day- you are AMAZING!
I want to end on a bright note with a big thank you to everyone who supported St Balderick’s charity and my cousin’s Samantha’s event. All Sam’s student’s passed her class, and the big day was May 3rd. She lived up to her end of the bargain, and had her head shaved- she even made the 10 o’clock news that night. Her two sons, Ryan & Ethan, as well as two of her students, also had their heads shaved to support the cause. To date, she has raised approximately $6,000 and still has another week before the deadline for donations ends. Her shorn hair also got donated to “locks for love.” I have never been so proud of her- she touched many lives in a positive way, and the lessons she has taught her students are invaluable. Thanks again to all for your support.
FYI- I weighed in today at 258lbs. I lost 1.4 pounds this week- total weight loss to date- 73 lbs.